so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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