The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
