...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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