omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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