Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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