Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
