the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
