Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
