my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
