Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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