The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
