Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
