I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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