btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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