i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
