with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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