Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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