Need sex. Gaining weight.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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