My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
