Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
