Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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