My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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