I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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