no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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