it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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