They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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