So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
