I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
