Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Randomize
