Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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