You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
