you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
