I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
