So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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