need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
