i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
