I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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