Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
