he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
