3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
