So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
