my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
