love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
