And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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