and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
