Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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