he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
