I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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