At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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