Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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