Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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