you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
