Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
